i am so about walking around museums and holding hands
do you ever just realize
i really fucking love the lord of the rings
do you guys think hannibal ever eats like regular food
like one night he just isn’t feeling the usual dramatics so he pops a totinos pizza in the oven and plops down on the couch to watch sixteen and pregnant
The 11th Commandment.
I’m really upset that “that’s a completely different pair of rainboots” and “my feet are crawling up my ass” aren’t idioms in English because I say them all the time in Polish but I can’t in English sigh
Oh—you wouldn’t date a girl who’s ever been a stripper?
In that case, I wouldn’t date a guy who’s ever been to a strip club.
Oh—you wouldn’t date a girl who’s ever done porn?
In that case, I wouldn’t date a guy who’s ever watched porn.
You’re the reason we exist.
You’re the demand to our supply.
If you disdain sex workers, don’t you dare consume our labor.
As they say in the industry, “People jack off with the left hand and point with the right.”"
List of incredibly hot things to say during sex:
- GONDOR CALLS FOR AID
- BLESS US AND SPLASH US PRECIOUS
- THEY’RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD
- MUSTER THE ROHIRRIM
- RELEASE THE RIVER
shows up to the key signature 10 measures late with starbucks